Yes, I said it, I hate you!  I have always been one to say I don’t hate anyone, but there is this one person, thing, problem, issue, whatever you may want to call it, that I DESPISE, HATE, LOATHE, Can’t stand, and so many more words that describe hate, and that is ANXIETY!

As I sit here typing this, I am currently experiencing this horrible thing.  I am not going to type the word anymore, or look at the word anymore, or even think of the word anymore until it’s GONE!!!

Just sitting here, reading and taking notes, and even doing some writing as you’ve seen in the past few hours.  Watching the last season of the original 90210 on Hulu on my phone, drinking some ginger ale, some orange juice, munching on dry multi-grain Cheerios, looking across the table at Jacob sitting here with his headphones on, watching something on his computer.  In the next room I see Isabella’s television playing the Disney channel and it looks like Tangled but it’s a cartoon.  My heart is racing, I feel hot, overwhelmed, shaky, nervous, and it SUCKS SUCKS SUCKS!!!

So now I am going to get up, move around, and get rid of some of this adrenaline.  I am not clicking publish yet, because I want you all to know that it does end, and I’d like to know how long it lasts.  It feels like hours to me….. let’s see how long it really is… It is now 10:51 a.m…………….. BRB

……………

 

………………

Ok, so at 11:21 a.m., and maybe a few minutes earlier I started to feel more normal, hungry, tired, but not nervous anymore.  My muscles in my shoulders felt a little tense, and I still felt somewhat hot and shaky.  So I made me some lunch and the kids lunch too.  I also washed the dishes and cleaned up the kitchen.  Got Damian cleaned up,  I ate, and all with my Carole King playing in the background on my phone.

Now I am back to reading my school assignments for the upcoming week, playing 90210’s final season on Hulu on my phone, and I am full, and feeling normal.

If you know anyone that suffers from anxiety, please try to put yourself in their shoes, it’s not all in their head, and if it is, it still SUCKS!

Thank you for reading this, hope you have a blessed day!

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