Don’t make the same mistake

As a parent we want to do all we can for our children, give them all they need and more, and raise them to be the best they can.  All of the hopes and dreams of doing this kind of get paused when you are told that your child has a disability.  I think you go through many different emotions when this happens.  A feeling of responsibility for what is wrong with them, which causes some guilt, even if it’s not your fault at all.  Then there is the feeling of wondering what the future could hold for them.  After this comes feeling bad for them because they can’t do things your other children can do.  When this happened I made a huge mistake, and have been realizing this now as my son gets older.

We (3 of my other children and myself) tried to do all we could to give my son everything he wanted, and even some times give him more than he wanted.  It became a mission to make him happy, almost try to make up for all the things he couldn’t do.  I have realized that this wasn’t the best thing for him or for us.  This just taught him that if he wanted it he would get it, and if he didn’t get it quick enough, he could get loud, demanding it, and get it in the end.  Whether it was a toy, a snack, or anything.  Now we are having to teach him the real way life works and even deal with some behavior issues.  I am not totally sure that the behavior issues are all due to this, but I am sure it’s a contributing factor.

So when your child is diagnosed with a disability, whatever it may be, and you get to that point of feeling guilty and sorry for them, do your best to avoid just giving them every thing they want.  It’s been a rough road having a child with multiple disabilities, especially doing it as a single mother for a lot of the time.  But there is light at the end of the tunnel, and you will get there.  You will come to accept it and learn to try to do all you can to make their life the best they can possibly have.


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