Many of you are familiar with the term anxiety, and maybe some of you aren’t. I had been doing a good job at managing my anxiety for quite some time now. But ever since I got sick about a month ago I’ve been struggling with it again. It sucks! I am not one that takes pills like Xanax or Valium, instead I try to cope with it on my own. I have found many ways of coping in the past. I have a huge collection of adult coloring books, pencils, and markers. Often when I started to feel anxious I’d get out a book and get myself lost in coloring. Other times I’d grab some yarn and crochet, but that one never really helped me too much. I also used to get up when I started feeling anxious and clean like crazy, but too tired for that lately.
For anyone who may not know this horrible thing called anxiety is I will try to explain how it feels from beginning to end. Now every time isn’t the same, some worse than others, but they all suck!
So first it begins as a very nervous, shaky, jumpy, fidgety feeling inside. After that the immediate feeling of needing to poop and faint hits you at the same time. Then the heart starts racing, which the feeling of it makes you more anxious, and then the feeling of fear, scared, out of breath, sick, it just washes over you in minutes that feel like hours. You pace, you breathe, you keep telling yourself you are fine, all the time feeling like you are at the end of life, the world, who knows.
I know IT SUCKS!!!!!